Today's weather sums up my feelings for the day. Its overcast, windy and rainy at times. I find myself drifting in and out of the past and what I thought my future would look like by now. The change in wind speed and then all of a sudden it rains, makes me believe I'm where I need to be. The onset of sadness and then the thoughts of what I want for my future go back and forth.
I sit in my car, in my driveway just listening to the high quality of sound that moves me. It causes me release all the pain I struggle to let go of each day. One song after the next. One of my best investments was installing my car stereo system. It has saved me from myself so many times.
My days are unpredictable. Tomorrow it could be cold, the music could be loud. I no longer will live with expectations or assumptions of what the weather may be or what music might bleed through my speakers. I don't have all the answers, I just know this is where I am right now.
My heart is broken. I'm disappointed, disappointed in myself, and disappointed in the false reality I had for my future. But just like the weather and the music, it will all pass. I will weather this storm, I will survive, and I will find a new song to anthem my emotions for the next day.
I will.... just be.
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